I dare you to love me
by nutmeg17
Summary: Human!AU Dean and Cas have been best friends for years and Dean has been slowly falling in love with him, up to the point that Charlie is fed up with the pining and the staring. She throws a party and has a plan to get the two drunken idiots to stop dancing around each other and face up to their feelings. smut in later chapters complete
1. Chapter 1

This was it Dean thought to himself, as he buttoned up his freshly ironed shirt. This was the night, he was going to finally, finally kiss his long term crush, his lab partner, best friend and if he were to believe in such things, soul mate. So more than a crush, he was pretty much gone on the boy.

An ideal situation would be a kiss at the end of a date. Maybe after a fancy dinner, or a midnight walk or after going to see a film they'd been dying to see, or even a late night car ride or stuffing their faces at the local diner. Dean's mind wondered and he let himself divulge in the fantasy of holding hands, cuddling on the couch as they marathoned firefly, soft kisses, gentle touches, intimate moments just between them and, he shook his head trying to focus on the job sat hand before more dirty images entered his mind, he couldn't deal with that at the moment.

He's known Cas for 9 years, since Dean moved to town with his brother after moving in with his uncle because his father could no longer cope. They've been best friends for five years, lab partners for two. Dean didn't know when he fell in love. He just knew it was slow and gradual and hit him like a punch in the gut. With each new thing he found out about Cas, added to the list of the things he loved about him, but somewhere along the line, that list changed to reason why he was in love with him. He didn't just love Cas, he like him, he was one of Dean's favourite people, he was kind and generous, caring and loyal, funny in sudden surprising ways and he made Dean happy. No matter how happy Dean was that Cas was in his life, it physically hurt him to have Cas so close but not be able to have him like he wanted. It hurt to hide so much of himself from his best friend, despite the pain it would hurt so much more not to have Cas in his life at all, he even had to catch his breath at the sudden thought.

So yeah a date would have been ideal, more than ideal but he was certain that was out the realm of possibility. At least this way he would be able to have Cas for a moment. One moment that was all he wanted. One moment, one kiss and that memory. That one perfect memory would get him through, he was sure of it. Okay, he also knew it would just break his heart, probably shatter it, but at least when he's old and alone or when he found someone years from now he could settle with, he would have the memory of the lips of the one that got away. He would always have that one perfect heart breaking moment to cling too.

A very good friend of his, Charlie, an awesome nerdy red head, she always seemed to be on the same wave length as him, so it wasn't exactly surprising that she figured it out. She recognised the typical signs of a teenager hopelessly in love, and when they were 16 she confronted him about the gay crisis he was having, recognising the signs from her own sexuality panic the year before. She helped and supported him through and always stood by the assumption he should come clean and tell Cas everything. The last few months she had doubled her efforts, she seemed so sure of herself Dean almost believed her, he desperately wanted to believe her, but Dean was a realist and always stood firm with the 'hell no' response.

The kiss plan, or what she likes to call; _'get idiot one's lips on idiot two's lips right the hell now' _plan was Charlie's idea, as was the party the plan evolved around, and Dean was eagerly going along with it. They were 18; it was the perfect age for stupid drunken games. She was determined to get the to kiss one way or another, _'even if it means locking you both in a cupboard'_, her words ran through Dean's mind as he jogged down the stairs after finally being satisfied with his hair, he smiled knowing that Charlie was completely capable of it, and probably very willing too, if all her moaning about his staring and pining was anything to go by.

It was Friday night and Dean was looking for to letting loose with his friends, Charlie's parties was always a blast, only their small cirle of friends went, which meant no pretence was needed they could all just relax have fun and get drunk. He was riddled with excited nervousness as he waiting for Cas to arrive so they could make the 5 minute walk to Charlie's together.

The party was in full swing by the time they got there; Dean let himself in with the spare key he had for emergencies and was greeted with Jo's loud laughter the moment they entered. She was talking in the kitchen with Becky and Charlie. The boys passed Chuck and Gabriel in the living room, on their way to the kitchen to drop off the alcohol and mixers they brought with them, they were both in the process of taping two cans together, starting their staffs as they raced to be the wizard of the party.

As soon as they entered the kitchen they were greeted by Charlie pushed a shot of vodka into theirs hands, with a huge smile across her face, she also handed another one to the girls and demanded they all join her in a shot.

Three shots later they made themselves real drinks and made their way into the small but cosy living rooms, to join the rest of their friends.

Jo and Charlie sat down on the worn cream leather two seater sofa and started discussing what had to be part of an earlier convosation. Ash was lying on the sofa reading the label of the whiskey he had brought with him, trying to work out exactly how many units of alcohol he has had, and how many he needed to drink to beat his personal best. Becky was on her phone sitting on the arm chair legs over one of the arms, Chuck and Gabriel had finished the latest construction of their staffs, they were both on three now and they seemed to have taken a break from their race to engage in a game of liars dice. This left Dean and Cas standing side by side, still in the door way.

Suddenly Dean was nervous, he knew the plan, well some it, he knew what he was (hopefully) going to get to do by the end of the night, but now he was doubting everything, Cas noticed something was wrong. He laid his head on his shoulder as a sign of comfort, it is a gesture they have done to each other many times, they had always been touchy and hands on with each other, it is something that Dean has always loved but right now, all it has none it set all his nerves on fire again.

He must have been more obvious than he thought because Charlie looked over and shot him a 'get your fucking head in the game' look before turning her attention back to Jo. Thankfully Cas hadn't noticed anything who was quite content just resting he head on Dean's shoulder. After a few moments of siquing himself up in his head he moved to sit on the floor, prompting Cas to remove his head and sit with him.

When settled they smiled to each other and began an easy conversation and nothing in particular, he started to wonder why he was so nervous this was Cas, everything was easy was Cas. It didn't matter what topic they spoke about, most of the time they didn't even need words, because this was Cas, the butterflies in his stomach eased off with this thought as they playfully argued about the better star wars movie, Dean was rightfully and justifiably arguing for empire strike back, whereas Cas likes return of the Jedi.

An hour and three drinks later Charlie deemed that everyone was loose enough to start playing games and as host she demanded they play, no one argued and gathered in a circle.

They started with an old favourite, ring of fire. Charlie lost and had to down the dirty pint, a mixture of wine, cider, whiskey, coke and beer, she did it, like a boss and received loud cheers at her achievement, Dean was very proud.

Dean was drunk, not outrageously so, but drunk enough, he was having fun, felt braver and stronger, the best kind of drunk. Cas too was getting there, an achievement in itself. He was currently resting his head on Dean's shoulder again, this time it wasn't for comfort, it was merely because he wanted too, Dean loved that they touched each other like this just because. made him giddy to think he's the only one that gets Cas like this. In Dean's current state he couldn't help look down at Cas, see the small drunken smile pull across the boys dry lips and think he was utterly adorable and had to resisted the bigger than normal urge to kiss him, seemed almost impossible in that moment to not just claim those lips, which sounded silly because kissing Cas was exactly what his aim was for tonight. He didn't want Cas to know it was intentional though, that he really wanted too and had indeed been dying to for so long. It had to be a kiss where they could joke about it, chalk it up to alcohol and whatever game they were playing, could be one of their stories that told people years from now to show how strong their friendship was that they could kiss and not have it mean anything. With that in mind he knew it was almost time for the plan to come to ahead when the next words out of Charlie's mouth where "truth or dare!"

Everyone cheered at the news of another game, just as Gabriel finished his 8th can and tapped it to the others, finishing his staff, he then proceed to take a plastic Halloween crowd out of his bag and crowed himself 'wizard of the party bitches!' he took a bow twirled and few times and paraded his staff around the room, the laughter didn't die down for at least 5 minutes, but soon the game of truth or dare was underway and the butterflies returned in full force in Dean's stomach.

"Jo, truth or dare?" Dean was a little disappointed that he wasn't asked immediately, he understood why though and it was almost worth it to watch Jo blush at when asked about he first 'experience', she was a cocky girl but private about certain aspect of her life, it was strange for Dean to see such a bold girl blush so much

Chuck then has to swap an item of clothing Gabriel, Charlie has to do a shot out of Cas' belly button, of which Dean couldn't not watch and instantly wished he hadn't.

It was Charlie's turn again, her face broke out into what can only be described as an evil smirk as she caught Dean's eye, this was it Dean thought to himself.

"Dean, truth or dare?" Suddenly it wasn't such a good plan anymore, what if Cas laughed, grimanced or worse just flat out refused and walked away, what if he got his heart broken without the kiss, his stomach dropped and a horrible sickening feeling overwhelmed him.

He was crazy, this was crazy, Charlie was most defiantly crazy, yet despite all the doubts running through his mind, despite the sweaty hands and the knotting in his stomach he still found himself saying, "Dare."

"I dare you to kiss," what was she hesitating? Had the plan changed? did she know something he didn't? did Cas talk to her about someone else? Maybe he had figured out and was repulsed by the idea? "Cas" Charlie finished, "Dean kiss Cas." That smirk firmly in place, turns out she was being dramatic, he should have known.

The boys whole face was aflame, he could feel his skin flush even in his inebriated state.

Everyone was either smiling or sniggering to themselves or each other, everyone but Cas. He didn't know how the other boy took the news because he has yet to look down at him, head still resting on his shoulder. Cas hadn't seemed to have moved a muscle since she said his name, he wasn't sure if that was a good sign or not.

Dean took a swing of his drink, polishing of another cup, swallowing down not only the alcohol but all the nerves too; he looked down to his best friend, to find him blushing almost as much as he was.

"you okay with this?" he asked, surprising himself at how causal he made his voice sound.

Cas in turn shrugged, he agreed! Dean's hear pounding hard and fast, Cas would do it, he was so happy he didn't even allow himself to dwell on the 'Cas doesn't care either way, he doesn't care' thought simmering around somewhere under the alcohol and giddy nervous thoughts threatening to boil over. At least not now, he had better things to think about, like those lips finally being on his.

"okay then" Dean answered back, he quickly glanced around the room to see all eyes on him, it seemed even ash, who had been dozing for the past ten minutes or so had woken up especially to watch them. Cas sat up in preparation, so they were sitting cross legged facing each other. Dean was able to look at Cas probably like this and he looked about as nervous as Dean felt, not knowing what to think of that, he decided to ignore it for now. They sat there for a few moments green gazing into blue, then slowly, painfully slowly, he lent in.

Dean's heart was pounding so hard he could feel his pulse vibrate through his whole body, hands were sweaty and shaky and he was pretty sure this was the worst idea anyone has ever come up with. The boys lips were mere mm's away, Cas let out a slightly shaky breath, when Dean felt the breath on his lips, it sent something shooting around Dean's chest, so close the thought. The tipsy teenagers didn't have the brain function being so close to his best friend like this, if he had he would have saw Cas' shaky breath as nerves and probably have back outm out of fear of forcing Casintpo something he didn't want to do, thankfully that wasn't the Case.

Finally, finally their lips met, he felt Cas' dry, soft lips graze against his own in a gentle slow embrace. Dean's hand found itself caressing the side of Cas' face, fingers grazing the nape of the boys neck. The kiss was slow and full of as many unspoken words as Dean could pour into it. He knew it was time to stop, he knew he had too, to keep the façade that this was all a dare, to stop him from getting carried away and just taking, taking all he could from Cas, climb into his lap and give everything right back. He could feel the pull to turn the soft almost loving and intimate kiss into something more but he couldn't, he really did have to stop. Even though it killed him he pulled back, whimpering at the loss of contact, mind to hazy for him to realise that it was not him that made the noise.

They were still so close, neither of them moving away. He could feel Cas' breath and began to worry the other boy could hear just how hard and fast his heart hammering away at chest. Hand still on his friends face and eyes still closed. The thought that Cas was staring at him feeling awkward made him open them, he found Cas' eyes close too, lips parted slightly and looking so damn beautiful Dean almost leant in again.

Dean moved back in sit previous seating position, as was Cas though a little further away, head no longer on Dean's shoulder. Silence settled between them, it wasn't quite awkward but it was full of, something.

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**Hope you enjoyed it :)**

**I wanted to write a quick truth or dare one shot but I wanted to see what would happened after they kissed so I wrote more, next chapter will be uploaded shortly :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**This continues straight way from the previous chapter**

**uploading this before I leave to start my new job! eek XD**

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He looked to their friends all of whom seemed stunned silent staring at them, now it was awkward. He could feel Cas' eyes on him as well, the blood rushing to his cheeks at the attention. He needed to get rid of the situation before he says something stupid, he cleared his throat and spoke, tone deeper than normal.

"Chuck, truth or dare?" it was as if the whole room exhaled at once, Charlie did in fact sigh, he almost felt like he just failed something, Chuck didn't get a chance to answer though,

"Are you kidding?! You're just going to go on like normal after that?!" Gabe exclaims sounding both drunk and personally offended.

"What are you talking about?" Dean asked fiending ignorance as he busied himself making him and Cas another drink. He should have known he couldn't hide it when he was actually kissing him. But by god that kiss made his stomach erupt in butterflies so intense it felt like they were bashing around trying to escape. he was right though, it did hurt, he was still riding the high and was rather drunk but he already knew that come tomorrow it would be hell. He could hear Cas shifting next to him, obviously uncomfortable, handing his friends drink to him without looking at him a he took sip of his own drink.

"Alright, if you're going to be a dick about it,"

"About what?"

"Gabriel leave it alone." Cas told him, speaking for the first time since the kiss, just as Dean's was, it was gravely and deep and by god did it make Dean's toes twitch.

So much for having it not be a big deal Dean thought as he looked between Cas and Gabe, knowing there were many previously spoken words being silently shouted at each other, but Dean couldn't work out what.

Everyone was silent again, and he couldn't help but feel stuck in the middle some how, throwing Charlie a pleading look, who responding with, "shots!"

It dispersed the tension as everyone shouted and celebrated the idea, a little too enthusiastically if anything, most glad to have an out from the sudden tension that had surrounded them.

After few more rounds of truth or dare, the game dwindled out a little, before it stopped altogether. Dean couldn't concentrate on the game, too busy running Gabriel's word through his head, he knew he was missing something, just couldn't put his finger on what.

His lips still buzzed from the ghost of Castiel's lips, but he didn't have time to surround himself in the feeling and drown himself in the memory because Gabriel dragged Cas to the side of the room. He couldn't hear the words but it defiantly looked intense. Dean was swaying a little from the alcohol as he watched the brother's speak.

"Don't be stupid, think about it Dean." Charlie appeared out of nowhere, whispered to him before skipping back to Jo in the door way.

"The wizard has spoken!" Gabriel shouted, he supposed to Cas, but really, it was to the whole room.

He watched Cas sigh, knowing that whatever Gabriel wanted from his him he was getting due to his new wizard powers.

Dean took a swig of his whisky from the bottle, feeling the burn as he watched Cas approach him. Suddenly worried of what was to come. Was he going to tell Dean he knew from the kiss Dean liked him and wanted him to back off? Was he disgusted? Want him to stay away from him? He didn't think he could realistically handle any of those words coming out his friend's mouth.

The boy stopped in front of him and he snapped out of his fretting, and back to the present, back to Cas. As he looked up into those deep hauntingly blue eyes, all he was think was, Cas. They stayed that way for a while, time stretched out and even Gabriel felt awkward and joined the rest of his friends in the kitchen.

Dean hadn't even realised they were alone, too busy watching his friend, he opened his mouth to speak, no words came out so he shut it again, he repeated this a few time seemingly getting annoyed at himself, before he kneeled down on the floor next to Dean on the floor.

"Dean, I…" that was it, that was all Cas seemed to be able to say before giving up again, all Dean could do was watch. He was frozen, completely drunk and completely terrified of saying or doing the wrong thing. The silence however dragged on and the tension rose to the point that Dean had to say something, anything, to break the weird something between them.

Before Dean could do anything other than open his mouth, Cas nodded to himself and dived forwards. Dean sat frozen as Cas crushed his lips against his own, hands gripped his shirt, as if afraid to let go. Dean must have been frozen for a tad too long because before Dean could get his head around the situation Cas was pulling back, face red and eyes wet.

"I'm so sorry Dean, I thought," words slurred and voice trembling and meek. He cut himself off from speaking, almost as if he couldn't speak any more, Dean's heart broke having to hear his friend so sad and broken, he did that he thought. Suddenly everything had clicked, Cas had kissed him without a dare, the way he reacted to the dare, Cas' and Gabe's discussion. Everything was adding up to the answer Dean had always dreamed of, even if he was wrong, he was drunk enough, turned on enough and convinced enough that he didn't feel the fear and doubt that usually gripped him.

"No, no, come back." He rushed out threading his fingers through his friends dark incredibly soft hair and pulling him back in. "Don't, apologise" he mumbled against his friends lips. He had to keep reminding himself it was happening he was kissing Cas, Cas was kissing him. "Want this," he reassured Cas, hating himself for the haunted broken look in his friends eyes moments before. Cas' hands moved up and were clasped around Dean's neck, pulling him impossibly closer. "Want you."

"Always wanted you." Cas responded, breathing his words into Dean's mouths, Dean groaned at the words he had longed to hear for so long. He ran his tongue across Cas' lips, who opened his mouth and turned the kiss so much more dirty instantly, Cas moved so he was straddling Dean lap, groaning into Cas' mouth, the feeling was nothing short was magical. Tightening his grip, a little afraid it wasn't real.

He groaned as the grip Cas now had in his hair tightened pulled his head back and exposing his neck. "Fuck Cas," he moaned out in a filthy manner he will probably blush over, when Cas started placing open mouthed kissed over the sensitive skin of his neck. "Love you. Always, fuck" he rambled swimming, almost drowning in the feeling of Cas' being so close to him. "Don't stop." He groaned as Cas started nipped his neck.

"Love you too." Cas mumbled into Dean's heated skin, upon hearing those words, words he had only dreamt coming from his lips, Dean's heart leapt in his throat and didn't even try and stop himself when he attacked Cas' lips once more. after a few heated moments he moved down and begun sucking on his friends neck, determined to leave a mark. "Fuck."

He moaned in response, Cas rarely swore, at hearing the word fall from his mouth, was more of a turn on then he was expecting his eyes rolled back in his head. Cas shifted his hips, grinding down slightly, sending sparks throughout his body, it was glorious, "God Cas, what you do to me." Dean's choked out, thrusting up to meet Cas' movements, his self restraint was slipping, and the urge to flip them and just take was almost overwhelming. The sound of coughing sniggering and whispering floated in from the kitchen and he was suddenly very aware where he was, fuck. "Stop, fuck Cas you gotta stop."

"Why?" Cas moaned into his ear, nipping the lobe, making Deans eyes roll back. He leaned back to look Dean in the eye, just as they parted, as if waiting for their moment, their friends marched into the room. Officially ending their moment.

"Okay! That's enough of that!" Becky shouted clapping as she walked in, followed by everyone else.

"Didn't think you had it in you, little brother." Gabriel whispered to Cas, eyeing up their position, making both boys blush and move to stand.

"Finally." Jo told them, smirked as she past them, squeezing both their arms, in a friendly 'I'm pleased for you' manner.

"Okay I have to say this, I had no reason to before but. No one is having sex in my house. No one." Charlie addressed everyone, she kept staring at all of her guests. When everyone agreed she went back to smiling and hugged both Dean and Cas.

Everyone went back to talking and drinking as Dean and Cas stood side by side, hand in hand watching their friends. Dean was a bundle of nerves, he was holding Cas' hand! Holding his hand after they made out. Not because of a dare, it was because Cas wanted too! He could barely contain his excitement.

The alcohol was buzzing in his system enough that just being close to Cas made him turned on. He could still feel him on him, his hands, his lips, the breath on his ear. He could barely suppress a shiver at the memory.

The boys watched as Gabriel strutted around the room, shaking his staff at people, making rules left right and centre, everyone was laughing and because of the alcohol and the strange loyalty everyone seemed to have with the staff the dares were completed, giving. Gabriel complete control

"I live five minutes away." Dean whispered into Cas' ear as he gave the boy's ass a good squeeze, god! He thought, so tight, so perfect, Dean suddenly got the urge to bite. Cas' breath became hagged at Deans actions. After a nod from Cas Dean picked up the whiskey, grabbed Cas' wrist and shouted bye to the room before dragging a more than willing Cas behind him.

"Dean!" Gabriel called to the pair grabbing their attention as they were opening the door. Dean approached Gabe leaving Cas by the door.

"Don't hurt him." Gabriel warned, Dean wasn't scared of Gabriel, he knows for a fact he has never been in a fight. He also knew for a fact though that Gabriel loved his brother and that in itself made him dangerous.

"I won't."

"Promise me."

"Gabriel you have nothing to worry about."

"Dean." Cas shouted, Dean smiled to himself the boy was swaying slightly it looked like he was itching to leave, Dean felt the same. He gave Gabriel a nod before rushing back to Cas and leaving the house.

A five minute walk to the Winchester's took almost 40 minutes.

Dean couldn't resist the urge to pin the smaller boy to surfaces and covering his body with his own. Cas seemed to have the same weakness as he pinned Dean just as much, the elder boy had no problem with it.

They made out, groped each other, laughed, drank and helped each other make their way back to Dean's.

They were coming up to the house when he decided to continue their game. Dean eagerly roughly pushed him, against the tree outside his house and lapping up his moans with his tongue as he licked into Cas' mouth.

After yet another heated make out session, Dean finally managed to get Cas through the front door, both with one goal in mind.

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**Hope you like it :)**

**I'll sort the next chapter out when I finish work XD**

**Please review xx**


	3. Chapter 3

**starts when Dean has pushed Cas into his house.**

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"Fuck Cas, so gorgeous." Dean mumbled into the other boys lips, as he started to attack Cas' shirt buttons, his drunken coordination hindered his mission greatly.

A sudden, loud and unexpected cough grabbing the attention of both the drunken boys.

"Bobby!" Dean exclaimed, in hindsight they probably should have been quieter; he should have known there was more people in the house than just him. As he looked to his guardian who looked less than amused at the situation he was looking at, he regretted bringing Cas back. In hindsight Dean thought they should have just done it in the woods like Dean was teasing Cas with on the way here. He was desperately trying to come up with an explanation, any explanation would have done, but his alcohol fogged mind was at a loss.

"Hello boys." Dean couldn't look him in the eye, he tried to both hide the nearly empty bottle of whisky behind his back and distance himself a little from the boy beside him, he could feel have tensed. "I'm not an idiot boy." Bobby snapped, snatching the whisky out of Dean's hands shaking his head. "Sit" he demanded and Dean moved instantly, gently guiding Cas by the elbow to sit with him on the couch. The man disappeared in the kitchen for a few minutes and reappeared with two cups of coffee. "Drink." They boys did so in silence.

"Bobby," Dean began, he didn't know exactly what he was going to say but it had to be better than the silence.

"Stop Dean. Whatever stupid excuse you have come up with, I do not want to hear it." He told Dean with a sigh, Dean went cold at the words. Convinced he had fucked up beyond repair. "I do not want you stealing my liquor, I certainly don't want you going somewhere with your best friend that you can't come back from, when your drunk. I know how you feel Dean, but you will regret doing it this way." Dean was speechless, what was he to say to that. He couldn't think straight and was incredibly close to crying.

"What are your intentions Cas." Bobby asked taking both boys by surprise. Dean knew Cas, even drunk he knew his best friend better than anyone else. He knew he was panicking, so Dean reached out and laced their fingers together. Dean could feel the tension and nerves seep out of him relaxing him instantly.

"I love him." This time the words were not being spoken in the heat of the moment, it was amazing to hear. Butterflies erupted in his stomach and he couldn't stop the giddy drunken grin appear on his face.

"Then tell him when you're sober." Bobby challenged. Deal Dean thought, they would say it every day. The whisky giving Dean more confidence about Cas' feelings that he knew he would have tomorrow but he didn't care, at the moment he knew Cas loved him. There was none of those niggling sober thoughts to create doubt. It was a wonderful feeling. "Jesus" Bobby sighed obvious to Dean that he was done with. "You can stay Cas, you're always welcome, you know that. Dean in your room, Cas in the spare room. I expect both doors to stay open and I will have mine open too. So don't even try to sneak into the other's room." Dean watched Bobby get up and disappear in the kitchen again, Cas squeezed his hand they shared a look that seem to say, I fucking hate this but love it at the same time. I want you but where drunk so maybe he has a point. Though as Dean looked into those gorgeous eyes he also saw 'take me' and Dean almost did. Bobby reappeared with two glasses of water and some headache pills. "Take these for the morning, get upstairs."

The boys nodded and got up in silence. Hands still laced as they made their way upstairs. Bobby following closely behind them. They said their good nights, Dean handing over a pair of sweatpants for Cas to wear. Both boys used Deans tooth brush. it's real Dean thought as he watched Cas put his tooth brush in his mouth, he wouldn't let just anyone use it the idea disgusted him, not so much with Cas, it must be the real thing.

Bobby wished both boys goodnight and watched them retire to their rooms.

Dean laid on his bed listening to Bobby settle and fall to sleep. He starred at the ceiling for a little while, having to straighten his vision every now and again. Before long he grew restless and started missing Cas beyond words, he needed him, he felt pathetic but that didn't make it any less real. He thought he was going to get laid tonight but he would happily settle for just holding Cas as they slept, he's the one Dean thought. He had never thought that about anyone before. Without allowing himself a doubt filled second guessing thought, he reached for his phone and began drunkenly texting the boy in the next room to him.

From Dean: this wsa not hw I wantd tonit to endd ; )

From Cas: tel l me abot iit, I was loooking foreward to getting to now u beatter

From Dean: u no me pretty wel ll

From Cas: I don't know what you look like when im on my knees in front of you.

From Dean: fukc Cas, I bet youd look georgeus on ur knees fr me

From Cas: soo many things I want to do r to u dean

From Dean: telll me please you've got me hard alraedy

From Cas: I want to hold ur hips still and slowly teese you with my tongure.

From Dean: Jesus cas, push me agianst the wal.l

From Cas: oh I will, I will tak e it torturusly slow until you r e begging me.

From Dean: please Cas please fuck

From Cas: yeah just like that w ithout warning I will shove your cock dpown mu throat hard and fastt

From Dean: I want too thrust

From Cas: you cant im holding u still u cant move allk you can do is whimper

From Dean: I am

From Cas: are you strocking yourself

From Dean: yeah, fuck cass

From Cas: im pulling off I don t wantou to come yet. stop touching yourself.

From Dean: I want you so bad, imm so hard cas

From Cas: geton your kn ees, face down on the mattress, put that georgeuos ass in the air

From Dean: done, fck cas I want to take you

From Cas: I want to see you dean. Pull your sweatpants offf slow let me see your ass

From Dean: :O my door is open

From Cas: then u better be quiete and hop e noone walks past

From Dean: there down, wht r u going to do?

From Cas: so sexii Dean, fuuck.

From Dean: I'm tinngerling.

From Cas: part ur cheecks, I want to see tf hat hungery little hole of yours  
From Cas: I want to lick u daen, tast u and make u rither under me.

From Dean: I'm finhgerin gmyself, wish they where u fingers

From Cas: I wish that to

From Dean: fuck cas ih want ou so much

From Cas: so o close dean

From Dean: fuck me Cas I need u cock.

From Cas: I will dean shit I wilw ant to fuck u so much

From Cas; I want u on u knees I would teesae urhole when ur beging to be fucked when your al streatched readyfr me I would neel behind yu and just watch u fuck yourself o n my cock

From Dean: Fuck! ! ii going to cum

From Cas; cum for me Dean I cant wate to see u cum with my name on ur lips

From Dean; Best. Organism. Ever. !

From Cas; agreed.

Dean collapsed forward, falling into his cum, smearing it over his front, simply to blissed out to care. He laid on his bed sweatpants still around his thighs, lube covered his fingers and ass and come on his stomach, and a huge giddy grin on his face.

From Dean; I love u

From Cas; I love yo u too

From Dean; nite

From Cas; god night Dean.

He placed his phone on the floor, straightened out his clothes and got comfy under the covers and starred into the dark.

Sober thoughts began niggling at his mind. He knew what he was like, he just knew he was going to be full of doubts and second guesses come tomorrow. He couldn't ruin it; him and Cas have only just begun. He has been in love with Cas for so long, and has been his friends for even longer, what if Cas wakes up sober and regrets everything? No, Dean thought, he wouldn't lets these thoughts enter his mind, not right now.

He didn't want to risk forgetting anything, forgetting the certainty he felt that he and Cas were meant to be.

So before he could fall into a drunk orgasm fuelled sleep he put pen to paper and write himself a note.

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**hope you enjoyed it and were able to read the drunk texts :)**

**the last chapter is half written so will be uploaded within a few days **

**please review :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Last chapter**

**hope you all enjoy! :)**

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When Dean woke up the next morning, he had to lay deadly still with his eyes closed for about ten minutes until his stomach stopped bubbling. It worked and he felt better until he tried to get up, making him need to make a dash to the bathroom.

Dean dragged himself back to his room, regretting drinking so much. He closed his door and very gently got dressed. Once he pulled on fresh sweat pants and an old t-shirt he took the glass and pills that were on his night stand, he didn't know how they got there but was just glad they were there.

Under the glass was a piece of paper. He took a deep breath to try to shift his headache. Took the paper and began to read.

_to sober dean_

_last night did happen._

_you kiss cas, cas kissed you_

_bobby caught us_

_sent us to separate rooms h__e seems cool about it_

_we sexted, Check your phone_

_I just want future me to know it was real, I told cas I loved him, and he said it back. Do not ruin something that has just started. Do not hurt him do not deny it happened!_

_hold him, treasure him, and love him for the rest of your days._

_if not I will fucking kick your ass!_

_From drunk dean._

Dean smiled when he read it, drunk him was an idiot. A loving idiot though. As he read a few memories popped into his mind and before long he remembered almost all of last night. Blushing slightly at the memories of him on his knees with his fingers in his ass, it was a good memory though.

He slowly made his way downstairs; he was not prepared for the sight that confronted him as he entered the kitchen. Cas was standing in a tight white t-shirt and a pair of borrow sweatpants, slightly too big for him hanging low on his predominant hips. His hair was wispy and untidy, from obviously having just woken up. He was pouring Bobby a coffee who grunted a 'thanks' in return from behind his newspaper. The sight took his breath away; the boy he was completely in love with was sat in his kitchen. He wasn't freaked out by last night, he was still here. He stood leaning against the door frame just staring for a few moments. He watched Cas down a few pills and some coffee, obviously feeling as rough as he did.

After a few moments he swallowed his nerves, swallowed his doubts, remembered the note and pushed himself into the room. He took a seat beside Cas, they looked to each other and smiled. Cas seemed shy maybe he was regretting it, in reality, he told himself that it was probably the hangover but Dean was suddenly worried.

"Morning Dean." He was grateful that Bobby didn't let him stew in silence, too scared to break it himself.

"Morning Bobby."

"How you feeling?" He asked moving the paper quirking an eyebrow at him once giving him a proper look. Fuck he thought. Did he look that bad? He shrugged to Bobby, suddenly fighting the urge to throw up. "No sympathy here."

"I know." He mumbled throw a smile, thanking his father figure for the coffee as he pushed a cup over to the suffering teenager.

"Sammy's, having sleepover a garths house, I'm going to work. Bye boys." With that he stood up and walked out the house without another word. The man obviously wanted to get out of the way for their awkward last night discussion. They sat in silence for a little while, both sipping coffee.

"Cas." Dean finally able to pluck the courage to speak, but it only came out as a whisper.

"Yes Dean." Fuck Dean thought, he sounded even sexier than he did last night, how was that possible?!

"How much do you remember?" suddenly finding the coffee in front of him very interesting.

"Everything." He rumbled in returned, Cas too staring into his coffee.

"Same." God this was terrible Dean thought, painfully awkward and completely horrifying. He wanted to kiss the boy next to him, wanted to hold him, promise him the world. But Cas was tense and averting his gaze. He did not seem happy and it hurt Dean to see, it seemed that Cas really hated where he was. "How much do you regret?"

"What?" Cas snapped, head shooting up to stare at him. Dean instantly hated himself and regretted asking, tears were already forming in Cas' eyes. "Do you regret it?" he whispered Dean had to look away. The sound of his voice sounding so broken caused more pain than the hangover. He felt awful, he put that pain in his voice, he put that look on his best friends face, and he couldn't let it continue.

"Cas, look at me." He begged the boy in front of him merely bowed his head, desperately trying to hide the tears, but were visible to Dean.

Dean felt sick again this time it wasn't because he was hanging. He moved quicker than he thought possible in his current state. Kneeling beside his best friend, clasping his hands with his own trying to comfort him.

"I'm sorry Dean, I'm being stupid, I just thought." Dean shushed him quiet; cupping Cas' cheeks he moved his face so they could look into each other's eyes.

He smiled softly, wiping the away the wetness from Cas' cheeks he whispered "I love you." Cas stared back, seemingly in shock, Dean persevered remembered drunk his words. "I don't regret anything; I was just worried you did. I love you, so much."

There was a few beats of tension filled silence. Dean had laid it all out on the table as it were. He had poured his heart out; the ball was completely in Cas' court. Dean was certain before the words left his mouth that his feeling were resipucated but now, the longer the silence stretched the more he was certain Cas was about to laugh in his face.

The next thing he knew those warm pink lips he's been fantasising about for years were on his, in a heated, desperate kiss.

"I love you too." Cas panted when they had to part when they ran out of air.

They shared a dopey smile. After finishing their coffee in comfortable silence, Dean's fingers constantly interlaced with Cas' they made their way to the couch. After moaning to each other how they were never drinking again and how they felt like they were going to die they curled up on the sofa together. The boys cuddled together as they marathoned firefly waiting for the delivery of the greasiest pizza possible they ordered to cure them of the hangover.

As they lay there, hours later. Both boys felt content, they had eaten the pizza, both had thrown up and showered and they felt pretty much back to normal. Dean ran his fingers threw Cas' hair, and dropped random kisses on the boy's head, he felt happier than he had in a long time. Cas in return kept stroking his skin and peppering it with kisses.

"Hey Cas," Dean whispered not wanted to ruin to serene quiet moment they had created together.

"Yeah," He softly replied not looking to the boy, instead pressing soft kisses to his chest.

"Be my boyfriend." It was supposed to be an easy question, asking was supposed to be merely a technicality. Considering all they had done and said over the past 24 hours it seems obvious. Yet when Dean tried to get the words out, his voice cracked and he stuttered from the nerves. This time Cas did look at him, with that same adorable dopey smile he gave Dean when he asked Cas over for dinner for the first time, when he told the boy he had passed the test in history Cas helped him study for. It was the same smile he has given Dean a multitude of times, each time shouting, you're an idiot, but you're my idiot. It calmed Deans' nerves to see it, but he still waited on bated breath for his answer.

"Yeah." Cas told him as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Dean's nerves broke out into tiny butterflies that escaped his stomach and were fluttering around his body, giving him the sensation of pins and needles everywhere. They shared a loving kiss, a gentle touch of lips, the touch erupting a breathy moan from Cas, instantly turning Dean's thoughts dirty, he needed Cas, his boyfriend.

"I'm feeling better." He smirked as he began licking a strip of Cas' neck, alternating between kisses and bites.

"Me too." The boy moaned, threading his fingers through the older boy's hair and pulling him even closer, hooking a leg around his waist.

"We have an empty house."

"I'm aware." Cas told him as he slid his hands under Dean's waist band and gave him a good squeeze, moaning slightly when he found dean was without underwear.

"Upstairs?" he suggested, needing more than he can get from him downstairs on the families couch.

The boys made their way upstairs, tripping a few times because their attention was completely on each other instead of the stairs.

Dean's heart was pounding, this was it. Finally after so many years of; unrequited love, of tears, dirty dreams, domestic day dreams, pitiful pining and staring and 100s of crappy attempts poetry, everything added up to this moment. Everything he had wanted was in front of him; everything he wanted was taking of his shirt and puling at his pants.

"Is this too soon?" Dean asked, part of him kicked himself for asking it, was shouting at him to shut the fuck up and get on with the naked, another part was worried, worried they were rushing, that they would burn out that it would make everything about sex and not focused enough of the million other reasons he wants to be with the angel of a boy in front of him.

"I have waited for this moment for 4 years Dean. I have waited enough." Dean was taken aback a little, 4 years?! They could have been doing this for years. He didn't have much time to think about this because Cas kissing down Dean's chest, sucking his nipples into his mouth and scrapping them against his teeth, adding that gentle touch of pressure, it drove Dean crazy. Brain instantly fogging over all rational thought and all he could think was, Cas.

"I can't stop thinking about last night, what I said I'd do." he murmured against his skin, the memory turning both the boys on even more, "You were so responsive." Dean's hips buked as Cas bit down on Dean's nipple, so sensitive he thought. "Really got me off." He hand made his way to the bulge in Dean's sweat pants and started to slowly rub him though his pants. Dean wanted to do something, desperately wanted to taste Cas, to kiss even part of it. He knew he had time for that though, they had all the time. All he could do in the moment was to hold on for the ride. "Let me try it for real?" Dean couldn't believe his ears and didn't waste time, nodding instantly and pushed on Cas' shoulders till he was kneeling in front of him. "Eager."

"Baby you have no idea." Dean told him softly, stroking his face "The amount I have dreamt of this." He admitted, running a thumb over his friends lips "Those lips. They're sinful Cas." The boy on his knees smirked slightly before taking Dean's thumb into his mouth and sucking. "Fuck." He moaning, growing hard instantly.

He watched as Cas pushed him harder against the wall, restricting him movements slightly. Not completely, he could move if he wanted too but he really didn't want that, the idea or Cas holding him down and just taking, was incredibly hot for him. Before the boy knew it his sweatpants were pulled down his legs the cool air hitting him brought him to the image at hand, of Cas on his knees in front of him. Dean watched as Cas licked his lips starring at his hard cock, bobbing in from of him.

They locked eyes and shared a gentle smile. There were so many words they could have spoken, so many things that could have shared, but nothing was needed, they looked into each other's eyes and found everything they weren't saying.

Eye's glued to each other the whole time, whilst he licked slowly from the base from the tip before he flicked his tongue over and around the tip and slit. Dean let out a shaky breath clenching his fists, the combination of it visual show and the amazing sensations he felt from Cas' actions, were getting too much for him incredibly quickly. Even more so when Cas joined him in a breathy moan, seemingly turned on and overwhelmed at what he was doing. Dean remembered the texts from last night, Cas was true to them. He was sucking long and deep with slow bobbing movements to his head, slowly licked and swirled his tongue. It put Dean's senses in hyper drive, it wasn't quite enough to get him off but it was enough of a promise for more, enough to make him writher and grasp Cas' hair in pleasure and frustration. The teasing was torture, a beautiful torture that had Dean gasping for breath, not believing his luck but torture nonetheless, Remembering Cas' words last night he began begging, he wanted more, he needed more.

"Cas, Cas please. Please baby. More, I need more." Sure enough Cas picked up paces. His hands still on Dean's hips holding him against the wall, preventing him from buking into the warm heat of Cas' mouth like he so desperately wanted.

When Cas sucked Dean's cock down his throat far enough he felt the back of his throat, he lost it, looking down he saw Cas' face against the soft curls that grew there, he had a few tears leaking out the corners of his eyes, eyes dark and dilated. The sight on Cas like that was the last straw for Dean. He grabbed his friend's hair and forced his dick further down his throat, thrusting into him as he held his face in place and abused Cas' willing wet mouth. He came with Cas on his lips and his dick down his throat, essentially forcing him to swallow his come.

Cas pulled off coughing and wiping his mouth, but he didn't lose the small smile that was pulled across his lips. Certain his legs was about to give way, Dean used the wall that had long been acting as support to slide himself down to join Cas on the floor.

"You're perfect Cas." He spoke slow and a little slurred, Cas' smile broadened in response.

He noticed the younger boy in front of him was still hard, cock visible and straining under his clothes. "Come on." He whispered standing up, holding his hand out to Cas. The boy took the offered hand with a confused look on his face; Dean led him to his bed.

He sat him on the edge of it and started to slowly strip the boy, lips and finger tips gently grazing under each bit of new skin. He stripped him naked and laid him on his bed. He stood here captivated for a moment, his skin was pale and smooth, the light streaming in from the window fell across him, bathing parts of his delicious looking skin in a golden glow. He was so beautiful Dean thought, but also hot, incredibly hot, the boy grew hard again looking at his friends laying naked on his bed looking directly at him. He resisted the urge to pounce, to rush, to take. He wanted to worship that perfect god dam body, so he climbed on the bed leaning over Cas, whose eyes were dark and cock leaking, turned on from being on show.

"I've got you." He whispered before proceeding to kiss his body, slowly going down. His neck, his shoulders, pecks, nipple, stomach. He whispered heart found compliments as he went, touching every part of his lover. When Dean got to Cas' cock he heard Cas choke out a 'yes' before a 'no' when Dean paid it as much attention as everything else and began kiss and stroking lower on his body.

He got to his feet and started giving Cas' toes a suck, something he never thought he would do. The guttural groan he got in response was surprising. Cas like his toes sucked he thought, not something that would float his boat but he would do it every day to hear such beautiful sounds being ripped from the withering boy beneath him. Running his tongue around his toe and sucking hard that noise came again. He switched feet and watched as Cas began stroking his cock, unable to stop himself.

"Dean, please. Fuck!" the sound of Cas breathy voice and the swear word dropping from it turned him on as much as it did when he was drunk, his own small moan meant he bit down slightly on Cas' big toe "fuck I need you."

He flipped the smaller boy over, moved both his arms to above his head telling him to keep them there. Cas' ass looked even better without clothing, he loved Cas' ass and spent many hours staring at it when the other boy wasn't looking, now though, now he could openly stare, and touch. He desperately wanted to touch. But he had a mission, to kiss every part of the boy, to show him it wasn't a quick fuck to get the hormones settled, it was real.

Deans control though was wavering, his light loving kisses and gently touches were transformed to open mouthed kissed and bites. Cas' hips were grinding against the mattress under him, desperately needing the friction. When he got to Cas' ass he kneaded it in his hands.

"Dean, I love you but please do something!" he moved to straddle the back of his thighs but did nothing, "I can't handle this, I need you to do something that isn't soft. Please." He brought his hand down to smack Cas' left ass cheek. Cas shouted in response, squirming from where he was being held down by Dean's weight. Dean hand came down again to his other cheek. Cas started rambling incoherent words, shouting 'fuck' each time Dean spanked him.

"Your ass is so red baby." He admired, squeezing the heated flesh "Look beautiful."

"Fuck, Dean I'm so hard it hurts, please."

He slapped both cheeks at the same time before parted them, he sat there for a moment starring, before lent down to blow air on his hole. The boy continued to spank Cas with one hand and rubbing Cas' dry hole with the other. Cas was getting very loud and Dean was incredibly turned on again, rock hard in his sweat pants, but he ignored his cock to concentrate on Cas.

After a little while Dean's hand was stinging and Cas' ass was a bright shade of red, so decided to stop, but knew he had to explore that more later, maybe with a paddle or something. The boy beneath him was sweating and rocking on the mattress rapidly.

Without warning he grabbed Cas' cheeks parted them again the licked a long strip over his hole. Twirling his tongue over and around Cas' hole until he was soaking, leaning up to Cas he held a finger to his lips. "Suck." He told him, in a way of telling him what he was going to do and asking if it was alright. Though by the look of Cas' debauched face and would be okay with anything at this point.

He went back to licking his lover's hole, sinking his tongue inside a little before adding a wet finger. Dean continued to eating him out whilst pumping a finger into him. Cas was near enough screaming, grinding down onto the finger and Dean's face.

"I'm going to come." He shouted, making Dean pick up his pace, to hammer his finger into his soaking hungry hole and positively attack him violently with his tongue. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck" he panted as he continued to ride both Dean's finger and his face. "Want to ride you properly, want on you back with me kneeling over your face forcing your tongue inside me." Dean slammed another two fingers into him in response, rapidly stretching him; the sudden pain mixed pleasure threw the boy over the edge. "Ahh!" he shook as he came over the bed beneath him.

Dean was so close himself, he had to take him dick out and pump himself to the sight of a sweaty naked Cas on his bed, panting heavily, ass red and wet. He own panting got Cas attention, when he saw what he was doing he parted him own cheeks for Dean. "Come over me Dean."

"Fuck." His pace quickened as he starred at his hole, the one he was just tongue fucking and fingering. It didn't take long and he came hot white streams of come all over Cas' ass. He couldn't stop himself from pushing the bit that landed on his hole, inside. He watched as Cas' hole ate it up so easily. He wanted to start licking again to taste his come in Cas' ass but Cas was moving moaning about sensitivity as he turned around.

Dean collapsed onto his lover and stayed there, Cas encased him in his arms and held him close. They knew they would have to get up soon, that Bobby and Sam wouldn't be out the house forever, that their come was starting to dry and become uncomfortable. They knew they would have to wash the sheets, to get dressed but right now they were home, they were perfect, they were happy.

"I love you." Cas whispered running a hand through Dean damp sweaty hair.

"I know" he whispered back, Cas smacking him on the arm and Dean lent up and sucked and bit on Cas' neck in response whispered 'I love you'

It was perfect.

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**It's been a while since I wrote anything like this, so it wasn't my best but ****let me know if you liked it :)**


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